Remembering Robby Weinstein

This is something I have mixed feelings about writing this piece. No one wants to hear a childhood friend passed away. On the other hand, no one wants to do to someone what a journalist  did to Alfred Nobel. I have yet to find an article on Robby’s passing, but that doesn’t mean the report my mom received was incorrect. If no one has yet to write about him, I need to.
I haven’t seen him in over 15 years but I can still remember being in the hospital waiting for him after he got a concussion at my rollerskating party for my 7th birthday. I really have a hard time believing all of the stories I heard about him afterward. I’d like to keep the image of him as a kid when we were both innocent and had the world ahead of us.

Robby was one of the kids who slipped through the cracks. He really could have gone in either direction. He was a good friend when other kids didn’t want to have anything to do with me. We even told people we were cousins because we looked alike, being that we were the only two dark kids in our school until I think like third grade. He was wild but a sweet kid. There were actually quite a few parallels between us, and there were some points I could have totally gone down the wrong path along side him.

There’s not a whole lot I can say about his accomplishments, but that’s the point. He was such wasted potential, again if the stories are really true.

I think about him from time to time, as I have for the past decade or so, and every time I heard a crazy story I kept meaning to call. I never did. So for some strange reason I always felt guilty that I never personally stepped in and tried to “save him”. Not saving him in some crackhead missionary save-you-from-the-clutches-of-Satan. I really thought that one day I’d pick up the phone, say hi, and his life would turn around. Then again, I never did it. And I’ll never know if it would have made a difference. But I haven’t made that mistake twice, and I do step in if I think something’s happening in someone’s life that’s not right. I encourage you to do the same.

Don’t Hit Your Kids on the Train

You shouldn’t hit your kids ever. I’m saying this to you know as I expect you probably don’t have them yet. Either way, don’t hit your kids. And certainly not in front of strangers, like let’s say on the Subway.
It’s already the second time I’ve spoken to someone about smacking their kids. They have no clue the damage they are doing. You see the fear in the kids’ eyes to do anything, and they are usually getting hit for no reason.
Why I really mention this is that you should also speak up if you see it. I’m not sure how to handle the situation, and I’m not saying I handled it well. I still did a lot more than anyone else. I really don’t understand how people can sit by and watch it happen. I’ve made an active decision I won’t be one of those people and I encourage you not to be one of those people either.

Remembering Corey Haim

I have to say honestly, as little as I think of Hollywood stars, every once and a while I will take a double-take.  Corey Haim’s death did that to me just now.  It has little to do with the fact he’s a brother Jew, although seeing the little pointy black kippot is a sad sight that gets anyone who’s ever been to a secular Jewish funeral service.  I can explain that at a different time.

It’s kind of ironic that today I drove through my old neighborhood on the way to the dentist.  I hated my old neighborhood when I lived there, and I guess it fit with the whole dentist motif.  But instead of the usual feelings, I felt a nostalgia wash over me that forgot about all the bad things and I remembered biking around, going to the park.  I could go back in time to a place where there was some semblance of not knowing everything that goes on in everyone’s private life.

I like the ’80′s movies because they were still happy and perky.  Even as the ’80′s slid away into the abyss of Generation X (of which I am a proud member), there was still a cute idealism that still existed.  I’d like those times back, but unfortunately it seems those times died of a drug overdose.

Passover is upon us

We have just sobered up from our Purim parties and we are moving into a whole new mode. Unlike Purim which is a kind of flash-in-the-pan holiday, Passover is an eight day matzah fest which actually starts a month beforehand. My landlords started cleaning for Passover a month ago and it’s about time we started as well.
Passover cleaning is a spiritual as well as a physical cleaning. The idea is to search out to find every last little crumb of bread or cake and get rid of it. Although a vacuum (a good one not like the bagless that just fell apart on my wife and I) is considered by some to be good enough, the Ben Ish Hai (Rabbi Yosef Hayim of Baghdad) tell us we need to draw all around and check in every crack, nook and cranny.
Hametz, leavened bread, is representative of arrogance, which is a character trait we are supposed to get away from as much as we can. The Rambam (Maimonides) said a person should always take the middle road except when it came to arrogance. Arrogance is something we should avoid altogether, and at this time period, we avoid even something that represents it, as a spiritual preparation for receiving the Torah on the holiday of Shavuot 50 days after Passover.

Parshat Titzaveh 2010

Summary:

The different priestly garments worn by the High Priest are enumerate:
1. The Mitznefet-the turban. Very stylist. Different commentaries have different spins on what it looked like, but a number of them have the bee-hive look.
2. The Ephod-kind of like an apron. It actually looks a bit like the back of a kimono.
3. The Avneit-a really long belt that wraps around the waist.
4. The Michnasayim-pants. Short pants actually. The pants we wear now are a European innovation.
5. The Me’il-it looked like a long poncho but much more elaborate with bells on the bottom.
6. The Tzitz-a kind of crown with G-d’s name written on the front.
7. The Hoshen-a breast plate with precious gems. The names of the twelve tribes were written on the stones and it had the power to receive divine messages.
8. The Kutonet-it’s a jallabiya anyone familiar with Arab dress. A long shirt going down to the floor.
The Kutonet, Ephod, Migba’ot (Miznefet) and Michnasayim were also worn by regular priests.
The inaugural sacrifices for the Mishkan (Tabernacle) were offered. Aharon and his sons were made the Cohanim (priests) at the same time.
The command to make the incense altar is give. It was a small gold altar placed inside the actual building of the Mishkan.

My analysis:

Have you ever stopped to smell the roses? It’s a cute expression, but it’s actually quite deep. Taking time to appreciate the wonders of nature is a great thing, but there are levels of how great a thing it is.
The old expression could have said that you should stop and taste the roses, or feel the roses. It talks about smell. There’s something about the scent of something that is inherently different from any of the other senses. Our Sages say all of the senses please the body except for smell, which pleases the soul. In fact, all of the hedonistic pleasures we go after are all meant to please the body. We watch TV, stuff our faces with nice greasy chicken wings, listen to loud music until we blow our eardrums or someone elses’, and of course hook up. These are not particularly spiritual activities. They can be, but that’s not how things usually play out. Smell is different.
Have you ever sat around, put on something smooth and trippy, and lit some incense up in the room? There’s a completely different atmosphere that takes hold. The entire mood is different, and just more pleasant.

The incense in the Temple was one of the most important offerings. Unlike all of the other offerings, which were offered on the large Copper Altar outside the building of the Temple, the incense was offered on its own little Gold Altar inside the Temple building. Still, the smell was so strong you could smell it down the valley. It made the whole city of Jerusalem a more spiritual atmosphere. The different spices in it represent the ten spiritual foundations (sefirot) in the world, and many prayer books list each spice with the trait it represents.
The reason religion and real spirituality tend to be far out concepts is because you can’t actually experience them. Even BASE jumping, as much as it makes your life flash before your eyes, it doesn’t bring you to any closer to a spiritual experience. There are groups that tell you that what you need to do is to isolate yourself and meditate. It may work and it is definitely beneficial to your physical and mental health. It’s not a way of life. There is a way to find spirituality in the physical. That is what the incense is all about.

We don’t control the weather

Everyone now is talking about global warming, whether they are scared of it or think it’s a hoax. I think those who think it’s made up are just making an excuse to do whatever they want without thinking about how it impacts our environment. Those of the naysayers are using the current blizzards as proof of their case.
Still, the trend of thought is to say we are negatively damaging our environment and the government is responsible to stop it at all costs. Let’s forget about cap-and-trade because I don’t want to get into the political thing. However, I will comment that there are some rather absurd ideas going around like sprinkling dust into the clouds to reflect the sunlight back into space. We’ll see how popular that is after the first rainstorm turns all the cats in England maroon. Yes, I know that probably won’t happen but that’s not really the point. The fact is that not one but two major environmental conditions have occurred in America that should really push a message home that we don’t have as much power as we think we do to control the weather: the current blizzard conditions and the earthquake in Chicago. That’s right. 4.3 on the Richter scale.
I’m not saying we should go out and start burning tires on our front lawn. Be environmentally conscious, but be normal. Understand if we do our part to take care of the planet, G-d will do the rest.
For now, I’m enjoying my day off. Enjoy yours too.

Purim 2010

Coming soon is every college students’ favorite holiday: Purim.  Purim is the celebration when the Jews were saved from Haman’s decree to wipe out the Jews when the Jewish community living in Persia (Iran) almost 2,500 years ago.  The story goes that through a series of coincidences, Esther niece of Mordechai was taken as a wife by the king Achashverosh (identified as being possibly Xerces II but there’s debate on the issue) and she ends up saving the Jews by exercising her power as the king’s favorite wife from Haman, vizeer to Achashverosh.  It’s a long story, and it takes about twenty minutes to read out loud in synagogue.  You can read it on your own at your leisure.

There are four ways in which Purim is celebrated: gifts to the poor (a given for all holidays), goody bags sent to your friends (some get really elaborate), reading of the Megillah (story of Purim) in synagogue, and the Purim se’uda (festive meal), which includes the mandated drinking of wine.  Dry is recommended for the purpose because it’s less likely to get you sick.

Some have the custom to dress up in costume for the festivities, and most people dress their kids up too.  I used to do goth but last year I wore my poncho I bought in TJ.  This year’s been tight so I’ll be recycling a costume, which isn’t terrible.  Of all of the inyani hayom (things we do to celebrate the day), dressing up is never mentioned in the Megillah, the Biblical source for the holiday, or the Talmud.  Some people are really against the costume thing, especially when people decide to cross-dress. I won’t address whether it’s a good thing or not.  Just know I look good in a poncho.

The main theme behind the holiday is that it was G-d’s hidden hand that drove history and was quite visible in hindsight.  That’s the explanation given of why G-d’s name never appears in the whole Megillah.  The customs of drinking and the costume are related to expressing this idea.  The expression the Gemara gives is “nichnas yayin yotzei sod”, roughly the true person comes out when they drink.  This isn’t anything I should have to tell you.  What I will tell you is I’ve seen people trashed who still behaved saintly at some of these meals.  That was something different.  The way you dress up also reflects something about your personality.  I’ve said people who don’t dress up don’t have much of one.  That’s not fair though.  In both cases, you have the person masked, either by a mask or by a bottle of wine or two, and yet their true selves are reflected at the same time.

You don’t need Purim to try and examine how G-d has been steering your life.  You can do it on your own.  Or if you’re a little sketched by the G-d concept you can at least try to look for patterns in your life and appreciate how things are coming together for you in ways you have never appreciated in the past.  But Purim is very helpful for this, and very cathartic.  I’ve seen a guy sobbing on the floor and he made some serious changes in his life as a result of the insights he had.  I’ve also seen some people act like idiots, and wake up in strange places like underneath the table in the beit midrash (study hall).

Just so I don’t forget, the day before Purim is called Taanit Esther, the fast of Esther.  It’s to commemorate the fast Esther made all of the Jews take before she entered before the king to set up the situation where she revealed Haman’s real intentions.  It’s a sunup to sundown fast, not like Yom Kippur.  It’s usually pretty easy, and since the drinking isn’t until the next day it’s really not terrible.

UC Irvine-It could be your campus

Very few of us want to get involved in politics. Sometimes, politics finds us anyway. I’m not sure how you feel about the Arab-Israeli conflict. It’s irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that there are kids on college campuses that have no problem shutting down free dialogue about the issue. What’s even worse is the language they use, and the fact they don’t make distinctions between Israelis and Jews. Even worse than that is the fact that these protests can turn violent. Watch yourself. And keep yourself informed.

Adar is Coming-Get Happy

It’s hard to feel it in your regular job, but when I was working in the Jewish schools there was a certain feeling in the air.  Yes, part of it is that feeling that spring is coming.  But it’s also because the Month of Adar is coming.  The Sages tell us “When Adar comes in, increase in happiness.”  It just happens to be the month that Purim falls into, but besides that there’s something about the month that engenders that feeling.

Happiness in the Jewish conception can be represented by a slew of words with different nuances.  The word used here is simcha.  Simcha is better translated as peace of mind and content.  It’s not excitement; it’s just an overall feeling of serenity is what I would describe it.  I couldn’t tell anyone to be wowed by a holiday or a month.  But I can certainly advise you to take a day in the next month, sit, relax, and look at what’s going right in your life.  It will change your perspective afterward, and make your thought processes a bit clearer.  And the fact spring is around the corner doesn’t hurt either.

Studying is best for the night

I was just looking in a book I got a long time ago called Entering the Orchard, which is one volume of a 31 volume set of English translations of pieces written by R’ Yosef Hayim of Baghdad, the Ben Ish Hai. He has a whole chapter there dedicated to studying Torah at night. He says in many different ways how nighttime is the ideal time for Torah study. Many of his ideas deal with the mystical issues of keeping yourself spiritually connected at times that are dangerous or more likely that people are going to do something out of line. But I was thinking about this, and it seems almost every college student picked up on this idea independently. It suddenly made so much sense why college students will hang out with their friends during the day, party at night, and then if they don’t pass out in bed pop open the books to study a bit (I’m not talking about finals obviously.) Am I right? Is there a connection? No, I don’t think anybody thinks Chemistry is spiritual. But maybe when you do crack open the textbooks you might set aside a few moments for self-introspection.